Reality Can Bite

I know someone that is an all-things-dog lover to her core.  Every dog she sees she enthusiastically approaches with high-pitched squealy baby talk while presenting her fist to a dog’s face, all the while leaning over the dog and proceeding to pet him over the top of his head.  My recommendations on this matter fell on deaf ears until….I’m sure you can guess what happened….she got a nip.

There are several reasons that dogs do not enjoy engaging with strangers and it is not necessarily because the dog is reactive - some dogs have a reserved nature and just do not enjoy interacting up close and personal with people or dogs they don’t know.  But leaving those different reasons aside, let’s paint the all-too-common picture: 

My neighbor, let’s call her Thelma, is out and about and spots a person walking his dog.  The person walking the dog, let’s call him Byron, is enjoying one of those Zip-a-dee-doo-da days while sauntering along with his canine buddy Toto.

Thelma calls out to Byron and makes a bee-line quickly and directly for Toto, all the while chattering gibberish loudly in a squeaky high-pitched baby voice that would make most humans’, let alone dogs,  skin crawl.  Sweet Toto, minding his own business is suddenly faced with a whole lot of pressure. The kind of pressure that to his canine mind mimics a predatory interaction for these reasons:

1. The big strange human is making lots of excited noises indicating arousal while moving very deliberately and boldly toward him.

2. The strange human is using aggressive body language by sticking out their limbs and shoving them into his face - ever seen a cat paw a mouse before finishing it off?

3. A large unfamiliar body moves in very close FROM ABOVE and stays within the animal’s blind spot on the head.  Nothing good comes from above in the animal world, just ask a chicken being carried off to her doom by an owl!

4. And now for the “coup de grace” - the final blow, as it were - Byron, Toto’s beloved trusted person, instead of verbally or physically advocating for and protecting him, pulls a Benedict Arnold and betrays little Toto.  When Toto backs away to avoid this aggressive and unwelcome personal contact from clueless Thelma, he is promptly and forcefully pulled and shoved towards this strange person by his harness against his will and is forced to “say hi.”

All these things are coming together in a recipe for triggering a pretty strong flight response in a dog.  And this flight response often ends in disaster because Toto is on a leash, and cannot get away to alleviate the pressure.  So despite his fear and discomfort, his inability to flee forces his flight

instinct to give way to his fight instinct, and he has no choice but to take the ultimate step and use his mouth in self-defense.  He tried his best to alleviate the pressure but no one heeded his subtle and then not-so-subtle warnings.  Even Byron, his own person, didn’t have his back.  He was uncomfortable being approached by this seemingly rude and aggressive, but in her mind, well-intentioned human.  The nip was minor but got the point across.  The minor nip actually indicates to me that this dog had great bite inhibition - in other words, he really did not want to bite, but because he was boxed into a corner by both human parties, he felt he had no choice left to him.

This is a scenario played out every day.  Did this lover-of-everything- dog rethink her future approaches?  Thankfully, yes.  Some humans have to learn the hard way which can end up with pretty severe consequences for the dog.  I commend dogs for being able to live and adapt to a very human and over-stimulating world!  Our canine friends deserve our respect, and a proper greeting is a big part of that.

Dogs are the best at one thing…BEING A DOG!  They are animals that have their own unique language which is often quite subtle.  The phrase “the dog bit me out of nowhere” is a complete fallacy.  Our canine buddies have many cues to let humans and other dogs know that they are uncomfortable with a situation.  A simple lip lick, a slight side eye, a yawn, taking a small step back are some of the signs.  More pronounced signs are a tucked tail, squatting, crouching, shifting body weight to the rear, etc.  And contrary to the average person’s notion that the dog will be reassured once physical contact is made and he understands “it’s all okay”, the dog becomes mistrustful.  It is a violation of basic trust and his comfort zone in the first place that is the problem.  And the “no harm” petting does not

change that betrayal in the dog’s mind.  It’s not about accepting the petting, it’s about accepting the HUMAN, and the dog has not given his permission for that human to come into his space.  Almost always a dog that is quick to nip has given signs for awhile and no one heeded them.  He was pushed to the brink, didn’t have a choice, and reacted quickly.  No one stood up for him and protected him.  Dogs are not furry humans.  They react like the animal they are and use teeth to communicate if they have to.  We don’t want to push dogs to that point simply because we want to fill our own self-aggrandizing desire to pet him.  In these cases similar to the story of Thelma, Byron, and Toto, let’s not pretend we are acting for the sake of the dog.  Rather, we are acting on our own desire to impose our human narrative on the animal, which is deeply unfair.

The proper way to greet a dog is as follows:

RULE #1: ON-LEASH GREETINGS ARE A BAD BAD BAD IDEA!  Do not allow them to happen.  We will go more in-depth on this topic in a future blog post, but fundamentally, like most mammals dogs are “flight or fight” animals.  Most prefer flight to fight, but guess what a leash does?  Takes away the ability to flee.  So the next step is fight.  Not a great outcome for anybody, and also another way a bite can happen when we try to disentangle the animals.

RULE #2: IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE.  It really is ok, and often preferable, to ignore a dog whether on the street, in someone’s home, etc.  Many dogs will be glad you did!  Not everyone is a social butterfly.  I will never understand why our society insists that it is the social norm that we must physically interact with unfamiliar dogs every time we pass one.   

RULE #3 ALWAYS ASK.  If you must insist on an interaction, and both parties are willing, when you approach or they approach you, let a dog smell you but DO NOT make contact or stick your arm out.  Talk to the dog’s human while letting the dog decide if he wants to interact with you.  If the dog is indicating he would like more contact, politely ask the owner if it’s ok to pet him.  If the dog backs up when you make eye contact, or shrinks away when you go to pet him, this is your cue to graciously be on your way.

RULE #4: USE THE PROPER ETIQUETTE.  If or when the dog indicates he is accepting of your close presence and contact, here is what to do:  Don’t shove your fist or hand into their face.  This is weird and rude to a dog - they can small you and what you had for lunch all the way down the street!  There’s no need to annoy him!  Besides, if you followed the above rules, he already had a chance to figure you out up to this point.  If the dog invites physical interaction, DO NOT initiate contact by petting him on the top of his head.  I know I know, this goes against all the norms, but think about it.  Would you enjoy some random stranger coming from behind and hugging you out of nowhere where you can’t see them?  Coming down from above is playing in a dog’s blind spot - it’s not a comfortable or natural way to interact with a stranger.  I often hear from people that because a dog ducks, winces, or backs up that it is a sign they were “abused.” Nope, some dogs just do not like that unnatural way of being touched, even by their own people let alone complete strangers.  Pet the dog slowly and methodically on the chest or back.  If the dog walks away, he’s had enough.  If he becomes excited and hyper, he’s overstimulated and it’s time for you to make your exit as well.

If you are on the receiving side of this kind of interaction with your dog,  it’s okay to politely tell people, “He’s in training and can’t be petted but thank you for asking!”  Canine vests with “IN TRAINING” stitched on them can help if you have trouble speaking up.  (Although PLEASE do not use this harness as an excuse to lie and say your dog is a “therapy dog” so

you can bring him into a food establishment….). Some people will be rude, ignore you and continue to do as they please.  They’ll often approach babbling on about how “their dog is friendly” or “Oh he’s (meaning your dog) is fine!”  Despite my constant emphatic reminders,  I have one such neighbor who insists on petting my dog on the top of the head (he hates it) Every.  Single.  Time.   Feel free to move away and re-state that your dog does not enjoy engaging with strangers and would they please stop approaching and continue on their way.

Our dogs count on us to keep them comfortable and safe.  When we do, it takes our relationship with them to the next level and spreads much-needed education on the proper way to interact with our best friends.  Whether it is a dog on the sidewalk, an elk grazing on the side of a highway, or a bunny in a field, give that animal its space.  Animals speak volumes without using words.  We need to take a minute to pay attention and learn what they are trying to tell us.